The freakshow

A while ago I decided not to watch TV anymore...just some sort of detox I felt my mind needed...away from the load of bull and nonsense they tend to present as "news" nowadays.
However, today I got home at such a reasonable hour I decided to turn on my TV (at first for the background noise while cooking and afterwards actually sat down and watched the "circus" as I stupidly enough thought will update me on the current issues going on in the country) - a decision I so deeply regret.
I basically know everything that happens in the lives of our so-called "public figures" (ha ha) and also realised they have not finished yet debating a topic I heard on TV during my Xmas holidays...and suddenly it striked me: there is nothing left to lose in this country as we definetely and for good lost everything valuable there was. It sounds so radical but sadly enough so very true. And then I got to thinking about what I know from practice: the people I met and continue to meet...the people I really admire...the people that are really capable of making a statement that will leave their audience speachless. My colleagues from the university (whose blogs and articles I read as often as I get the chance) whom I consider to be really something, the teachers and the professors that guided our steps and I got to wonder: when will these insignificant tasteless muppets on the TV screen go behind the curtains (I assume they can still steal from there but in a more quiet manner - that would be so admirable from their part) and make space for those that are actually capable of bearing the names of leaders?
I mean, most of us have jobs, pay our taxes and what's more frustrating, there are so many students I know that pay for their studies (scholarships in Romania??? c'mon, overrated; study loans? - now don't make me laugh) and what do we get instead? UNEMPLOYMENT - at the end of the tunnel there's not even light - it's quite dark and dusty (we need to wait for the respectable politicians to make a decision - but why hurry? when the Romanian citizens are desperate going out in the streets and initiating protests....let's be honest...where's the rush for the big belly political snobs?)  They need to decide who is going to be "fetched" with our money, with our taxes...who's next in line to die in a hospital while they're booking flights to exotic islands (conferences they say - I say "do we have the stupid look on?"), ride vehicles that not even the most snobbish men in Switzerland use, but hey, they need to show who's in charge.
And no, in Romania there are no money to support education, public health, infrastructure, tourism, agriculture nor industry...they wait for someone to come to the rescue...not that they care about the people too much but simply because the country needs more financial resources...my grandma always used to say: "when you're spending the money you saved, make sure you keep an eye on the last penny....because that will be the one that matters when it will all be over" - so, yeah, we're waiting - for another aid they will wisely (lately they didn't even bother to disguise their actions) shove into their own pockets. Why wonder? when the very president of the country allowed for his daughter to represent us within the very European Parliament - oh yeah, we need to believe she really struggled to get in that kind of position...until we all hear her talk :))) and that's when the story starts to get really funny....
Why study so much in Romania when all you need to have is a college degree or something...it doesn't really matter what are the means you use to satisfy your thirst of power and wealth...acquiantances, good looks, extortion, bribe...I mean you can be brainless...you just need to be a "well-educated(or not) illeterate" and snob - that will do. Oh yeah, and you need to buy a very expensive car (people MUST SEE you're leading a luxurious life) and if you're a "lady" a Prada bag and for the "misters" (a really expensive, maybe unique Rolex or Cartier...just a souvenir...).
At this point there's no wonder I started calling the young generations (a certain disclaimer here however) the "acuna matatta" generation...they play computer games like crazy or are masters of the hidden secrets the social networks hide...however when you get to ask them "what's the most recent book you read?" a deep silence will follow...unless Red Riding Hood counts :) And I undertsand them perfectly...who is left in schools for them? when teachers cannot aford to make a living with the money they "pay" them...the gap between generations is so big it can really be frightening sometimes...and that's when the real value of this country is lost...but there's no shame...no shame as all values and principles have been slowly lost, burried somewhere deep within their dirty conscience.
I really admire my colleagues that graduated the Translation Master Program or the Interpreting one...I know they're really good, brilliant, hard working and intelligent people...and they'll be interpreting/translating for this bunch of illiterates...I mean, if I were to have a vote I'd definetely shout from the bottom of my lungs "For the love of God! get off those chairs and do not insult the work these people actually do behind those microphones!" Go feed your sheep, your horses, whatever you have in your barn, and let the real white collars of the country have a say...as you my dear "politicians" have no freackin' idea what you're talking about!
The question remains, however: while the Romanian political system is basically in the toilett, when will that "hero" (who's supposed to flush them down the toillet) come? Will we really sell all our brains and intelligence to Microsoft/Google and go abroad to have the chance to offer our kids a future? If we don't flush any time soon, I really think the best solution is to sell.....





  

I'm a girl and I can be complicated without further explanations

I've been meaning to write this a long time ago....but just got lost in the daily buzz and lost track of time..however, the post is mostly aimed at the bold, independent and fearless girls and women all over :)

It all starts when we arrive onto this world tagged in baby blue or glittery pink and we're taught by our parents the rules of good behaviour designed for little boys and little girls, rules meant to guide us throughout the treacherous path of life that we're supposed to share as equally as possible with each others, guided by these invisible rules...nonetheless, as we grow up and we speed along this road we design (or not?) for ourselves, we start making our own rules....and this time the rules are based simply on our own state of heart and mind...at the beginning we're like tiny little pets taken out from our well protected cages and the first attempts at making our own choices are the days I like to recall as "Ennie Minnie Minie Mo" days...:) -  what we would like mummy to prepare for dinner, we decide the school we want to go to...what college, what university to follow and basically we struggle to build brick by brick "the blueprints" towards our professional path...but although it's hard to admit, there's another thing that marks and shapes our road in life, we just need to acknowledge the fair share of the relationships we build - with others and with ourselves...and for those lucky enough to learn the lesson as it is served, these relationships are meant to help them grow up and most importantly, know how to go on :)

Relationships can be of every kind - there are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up a lot of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself...and if you can find someone to love "the you" you love, that's just absolutely fabulous :)

Why do I say this post is meant for girls and women especially? Because in the last couple of months I've too often had the feeling (after reading different blogs or articles) that some really wonderful girls forget who they really are because of a game we decided to join ourselves...and what's love if not a poker game? :)

And when randomly we come to sit on the "loser" chair we very often tend to forget how we got there. And at that exact same moment, most of us believe that what we really want is to dissapear..but what we really need is to be found...and the most wonderful thing that can happen is for you to find the "you" you lost; and when you do, it's like a whole new you - except this time it's 100 times stronger. Because, as they say, troubles, like a washing machine, twist us and knock us around; but in the end we come out brighter and better than before. Sooner or later, we all bump into this crossroads and never know which way to go, but we must remember that the choice is always our own and whatever happens, we can handle it. The starting point of maturity is the realization that no one is coming to the rescue!...everything we are and everything we will ever be is entirely up to us. And, yeah, it's true...sometimes you get no control over how others or life in general treats you...but there's no excuse for how we treat ourselves :)
While we keep hiding our mistakes as a sign of our weaknesses, we will never get the right answers in place. And what's even more sad is how we tend to ignore that mistakes, in fact, are the proof of our struggle and of our trying. Our lives are not determined by our mistakes but mostly by how we react to what happens to us and change only can happen when the pain of holding on is greater than the fear of letting go. And when you feel that particular moment -when your world is tumbling down- just go back to the basics: we cannot compel someone to stay with us forever, people don't come with price tags and therefore cannot be bought, real good love comes to those that are ready and not exactly those that are lonely and what's most important: forget about plotting your revenge - just sit back and wait; those that usually hurt someone will eventually screw up all by themselves...and if you are lucky enough, God will let you watch :)

Funny enough, in the end, we all agree, when standing on the other side of the bar, that the truth that hurts is the same truth that heals. I now understand the metaphor that lies beneath calling a girl "a pretty little fool" - you confide, you give you share, you tell the one thing that can hurt you..and in the end those whom we trust end up doing it perfectly! That's why, next time you're tempted to disguise by all possible means the message "Don't go, I need you in my life" reach towards your best friend (they say a friend knows when to hug you but your best friend knows when to hit you) and the message will definetely come across as : "Oh, she's just joking....just close the door on your way out" :) Then dust yourself off, let the air in and remeber: as we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down probably will; you'll have your heart broken probably more than once and it will be harder every time; you'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken; you'll blame a new love for things an old one did...but what we need to remember the most is that butterflies don't know the color of their wings, but human eyes know how beautiful these creatures are...likewise, we can never know how good we are but others can see that we're special...so you can mend and let your heart rest and even cry - it won't mean you're weak because even since the beginning, crying has always been a sign that you're alive (just remember to shut the blinds :)  )

Bottom line is the choice is always there for you, you just need to open your eyes - get bitter or get better?

I need more than 24h to conquer a day

"All my possessions for a moment of time" - that's what Elizabeth I said and if that would be even remotely possible I would dare saying too...

At the beginning of this new year we have 365 days (more precisely 362 at this very moment), 52 weeks, 12 months and only one year ahead of us...how can we fit all our dreams and "to do" lists in only 8760 hours and furthermore squeeze all the flavours we have in mind out of this time? The conclusion is simple: if we are that wise to take care of the moments, the years will take care of themselves

We're all caught in this chase of THE MOMENT...we even sometimes forget where we're headed to, drowned in this idea of speed, action, now, here or even worse there's no time...lately I have been experiencing a quite stressful period labeled "I do not have enough time" in my mind... but then remembered the edgy situations I have experienced in the past...those situations that won't let you sleep at night...those that would make you vibrate and those that would keep pumpin' adrenaline into your system...and then realized...I love deadlines ...I love deadlines but what I love the most is the whoosing sound they make as they fly by...I dare saying this cause I can't remember a single out-of-the-ordinary event, an exciting adventure or an outstanding achievement without this rush...

I really admire the "planners" and control freaks when faced with deadlines...but I, I need the rush of the moment, that last second before the gong's sound, that very last tiny minute before IT occurs...why? 'cause I'm weired this way and I really enjoy the thrill of the chase with everything it involves: sleepless nights, rapid heartbeat, flashing vision, numbness of the mind and body and the heavy breathing.... all these frightening symptoms make it all worth it and you can bet that such a situation will be definetely engraved in your mind for a very long time...

I remember the exam sessions during faculty years...I can't remember those exams when I felt all relaxed and calm...but oh! how I DO remember the ones that won't let me sleep at night...and guess what...I was not sleeping! I was all awake, feeling no sleep at all, with adreanline pouring through my veins, making me feel like a volcano ready to erupte...when an hour before the exam I was getting dressed holding the file with one hand and using the other to button up my shirt...the times when you think that even 5 more minutes would make a huge difference...my brain seems to cope perfectly fine with these edgy situations and I really enjoy a twisted puzzle in front of me rather than being handed the map of the labyrinth ahead...

Hence, my conclusion is that it's not about the time itself...it's about the journey and the experience it brings along...the people you meet and that are willing to stand on the edge with you and look towards the horizon without fear of the precipice unfolding at their feet...

I would definetely stick to Elizabeth I 's statement if it wasn't for another wise man (H. Jackson Brown) that said "Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same numbers of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresea, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein."

So tell me, do we really need more time when there's no starting or stopping but just doing?

Cine decide pana la urma cand se termina un an?

Astazi a fost ultima mea zi de lucru din anul calendaristic 2010...ajungand acasa am inceput sa ma gandesc la inevitabilele New Year's Resolutions pentru anul ce va urma...cum spunem mereu ca ne dorim un an mai bun...

In ceea ce ma priveste, in 2010 am sperat, am iubit, am suferit. Am scris, am muncit, am riscat - in dragoste si in plan profesional si social. Am si cazut, dar din fericire, de fiecare data m-am ridicat. Chiar si atunci cand m-am simtit invinsa! A fost, zic eu, un an extraordinar, nu bun! O cursa trepidanta de roller coasters, cand pe val, cand la vale, cu statii programate, dar si cu opriri imprevizibile, alunecoase. Fiecare "destinatie" si-a lasat insa cumva amprenta asupra mea. Da, un an e un drum lung, viu, accidentat...un drum pe care - cred eu - il putem masura in cate si mai cate trairi si simtiri....dar si in permanente redescoperiri!


N-am mimat o secunda, n-am facut figuratie, ci am jucat - bineinteles - in atac si in defensiva uneori mai toate "rolurile" pe care anul 2010 mi le-a scos in cale. N-au fost toate bune, stralucitoare, marete - ba, dimpotriva, adesea anevoioase, delicate, istovitoare. Dar important e ca fiecare rol a avut farmecul si savoarea lui si a insemnat o piesa existentiala, o veriga importanta in lantul evolutiei mele. 


Asta va urez si voua, celor care cititi aceste randuri, pentru anul 2011: la cat mai multe roluri!!! Fie bune, fie mai putin bune...si evident, pe langa aceasta urare, puterea de a le birui, de a le "duce" pe toate. Insa nu uitati sa va pastrati autenticitatea si acel "final touch" of the inner self. 


Iubesc aerul proaspat al inceputului de an!! Cand toti aliniati, asteptand TRECEREA, avem parca in mana cele 365 de zile. Momentul cand ne aliniem cu totii din nou la start: un nou an - un alt maraton cu obstacole...Sfatul meu: sa nu cautam sa-l controlam - e de prisos. :) Putem insa sa incercam sa scoatem ce e mai bun din el...Cum?
Munceste, iubeste, traieste cu toate motoarele turate la maxim. Uita de egoism, de ingamfare, de nepasare - pot compromite nu numai un an, ci chiar si o viata. Viata e lunga, e adevarat, insa anul e scurt...


Si in final, singura intrebare este: cum facem ponderea intre cele 365 de zile si ale noastre New Year Resolutions? :)